Dearest fam, checking in!
How is the mission? Is the project alive and well? Where in the world is Lindsey Lou?!
It has been far too long I know. Honestly, I do have an ongoing struggle with this form of communication… seriously, deep, existential thoughts about it but most simply and without reserve, I’m horrible at it.
In addition to my prerogative of this digital world as a struggle, the battle even tougher this year… (as when dealing in tech, or many times as can happen in anything outside ones ‘wheelhouse’) the glitches really got to me. I could not get my domain name back from the administrator who helped me build the site and whose retirement from such things left me hitting technological walls left and right, the affronting of I deem less important in my day than being, moving, doing – it falls, for most current example, (and again, admittedly, my own shortcoming in this technological age) well below my priority to read Michelle Obama’s new book, and then of course upon finishing that there is no lack of thrilling adventures to go on.
Anyway, a person can only do what one can do – we can only begin each day with that intentional synchronization back to the Creator’s wish for us, refueling oneself with that incredible healing and energizing light, and then stepping to the day giving the best that we have to give to that wish.
Further along the same point, in recently going through The Four Agreements I learned excellent language to matters I’ve been trying to put succinctly for a while now; Don Miguel Ruiz, I am in agreement! In doing my part to speak impeccably (first of the four agreements), it is harsh words like shortcoming and phrases like, I’m horrible at… , that I must not take personal (another of the four agreements)… am working at no longer taking personal! The internal words that run through my mind must be as kind as those I put out into the world, and visa versa. So while I acknowledge the above, I let it go, it doesn’t bring me down, my mental tape shall not play I’m a failure no matter the circumstance – I only hope that you all know enough of me to know, if not before than certainly after this point, that the mission is alive and well! Even if we don’t cross paths frequently enough for me to update you in person – and we don’t (!) I miss many of you from lack of being near – and I don’t check in regularly here, please keep hope – the mission is alive and well!
2018 was spent learning about plans. My plans versus those the Creator would have for me. To be certain, I’ve been gifted a mission – perhaps even earned (at least in my awareness of it!) over some one-on-one time out in the wilderness for a good part of 2017 . However, the unfolding of each step toward that purpose is a flow that I still find myself surprised by often. I think, We are supposed to go forward this way and then …Bam! Nope, we’re going about it all that way.
I thought I understood 2018 to be about joining the relatives on the Longest Walk, finding through that path the communities I needed to bring a self defense program to; and Oh ya! Getting that self defense program figured out…. The first solution I found became a bit clunky and rigid for trying to adapt to the reservations, all so unique. The second solution I found last year seemed perfect – already in progress on the rez, lead by a young native woman, a martial artist, comprehensively addressing the strengths of our people but also introducing the useful instruction that’s missing in so many places… Perfect! But No, a definitive No! The timing wouldn’t be right to work together.
There would be a number of times in 2018 that I watched a seemingly “perfect” partnership come along, only to find that working partnerships must be approached with the same timing-is-right-value-match-stars-aligned-take-home-to-meet-mom standards that apply for a life partner match. And when they do come along, appreciate the find! Jane Peterson came along to be my great mentor and sounding board, Dee Randolph came along to love the mission and lend her retired, but not expired(!), expertise in grant writing to make sure our resources flow, Heidi Sarmiento-Wilson came along to be my sensei in every sense, Judy Schour and the Lakeside crew, came along as some of the sharpest tacks I know in the hardest work of all, creating change. I appreciate them so.
So what did I get done last year? I know some amazingly exceptional people; the following list may pale in the lives of many, and that’s ok, it’s outstanding! Is the work and purpose of the life of a honey bee, fleeting and tedious, any less than that of majestic, everlasting, ever-rising Everest? For me, it was an unbelievable, amazing year full of many true gems unique to this world, the best ones, I imagine, I’ll never be able to put words to. Of it all, I am overjoyed with the blessings of this place, in fact, not only the miracles all around but also in the many opportunities to make them. Highlights as such…
- With Jane’s support and positive persistence I went completely outside of my comfort to create a Gofundme campaign for the mission. Elementary, sure, but big for me and of course a necessary step for the evolution of it all.
- Dozens of friends and family far and wide pitched into the fund which would support the Tour of Hope costs! Those of you who have Standing Rock books coming… still have books coming! I’ve delayed sending as I’m working with someone on a special forward.
- Kicked off the year with a 7-day fast; my first! In the effort to move away from any future need of modern medicine – this fast kicked off a year of monthly 3-day fasts which would eliminate my body of toxins quite regularly. The longer, annual, fast even has the ability, once toxins have been flushed out over the first few days, to proceed with repairing and even regenerating cells within the body! Thrilling stuff. In addition to this, I experimented with plant-based diet, daily fasting, regular cold shock (last sixty seconds of each shower, for example), and daily dietary add-ins – like garlic, (learned to pickle my own garlic!), and historically significant tonics like Jamu. It is true that I got sick only once in 2018, right at the end when my dietary intake crashed with the holidays, and for one more reason that I came to know just yesterday (funny story regarding my lack of sleep for a couple years now, until just this week!).
- I spent time with my Nana before driving up to the Walk. Her speech had almost disappeared in a matter of weeks. Despite her new state of being, she expertly hand-made, in a matter of a two hours and no measuring tape, two beautiful and perfectly sewn ribbon dresses for my walk with the people. I headed to the north of Washington state to start the Walk. Unfortunately, the day before is when momma called to say that our Nana had stage-4 cancer. My plan was to be on the Walk, but The Plan would put me in Washington in order to gift the Snow Beast and supplies to the Walk and then go separate ways.
- My Nana spent twenty-three days finishing her own walk through this life. I was blessed to be with her and by my mom and auntie’s sides as we all went forward with her brave decision to die at home, no machines, nothing unnecessary – together.
- Barefoot shoes!
- Nani left at sunrise on a Sunday in March, from here I just couldn’t bring myself to join the Walk. Hard to begun something new when still processing an ending. Instead I came home to San Diego for mom’s mourning time, also a blessing… many lessons.
- Cricket, Nana’s little Dachshund, came home with me and we went forward getting in shape and training her up as good a service dog anyone could have!
- Water is life! And a great healer, so I built mom a double pond and waterfall in the backyard. Such hard work and such troubleshooting and problem solving involved; it was a happy day when everything had balanced (no chemicals or filtration involved, only natural principles and a solar pump!) and we were able to introduce the fish – Jack & Jill and Hailaye & Rodrigo!
- Jane had hip surgery! It was a real blessing to be her caretaker; we got a lot done! Figured out the pill schedule, moving, prepped a months worth of Whole 30 freezer meals, got to keep Aggie’s workout regimen on point despite everything (Jane’s dog, also in post-surgery recovery). Learned a lot!
- Formed the Nations Rising Tea Program partnership!
- Daily fasting (18 hours; eating within 2:30pm to 8:30pm time frame) works well for increased energy, metabolic efficiency and weight loss;
- Plant-based accomplishes same as daily fast but with smaller footprint – benefitted from the Daily Dozen and not missing out on flax seeds, flax oil, chia seeds in each meal for energy boost (at least for someone with a more than average exercise routine).
- St. Agatha’s Fund for Health, Happiness and Freedom brought to life!
- Jillian successfully runs an art fundraiser from Brazil – providing more than 1k to the mission!
- Found my universal thought twin! Rob Greenfield – Mwaa! You have my love for all that you do and teach!
- Keeping to my fam responsibilities – being with momma, getting to Taco Tuesday fam dinners, saying ‘yes’
- Prepped for the Tour of Hope, to begin July/August: got rid of stuff, on-boarded the partners, fundraised.
- This was the month for getting gear. With a priority to travel to communities with the smallest impact possible, we needed road bikes and gear for being on-the-road and off-grid. Considerations include Cricket’s trailer, water storage, water filtration, food, shelter, cost, and Weight!
July (this was the month that plans began to change)
- Got to roll out the mission at the All Tribes in Recovery Gathering, great outcomes, very powerful.
- Jilly got home from Brazil and came out to join the mission!
- Our chance to work with one partner dissolved, however we were introduced to Heidi and found a new way forward to get the training we needed to build the curriculum we needed!
- We began training on the bikes, riding everywhere (1 mile, then 3.5, then 10, 35 mile day and so on)
- Found a new Nations Rising Tea partner!
- Acquired seeds to be able to grow Fresh Food in the communities we would visit.
- Tried out dumpster diving and fallingfruit.org (as a means to redirect massive amounts of unnecessary waste and also to be able to travel light on the bikes) and also warmshowers.org with great success.
- Received invite to share message at local, beloved plant nursery/community.
- Moved monthly fasting to full-moon fasting! Very powerful.
- Got to serve beside Chief once more at No Regatta in Arizona! VERY powerful experience and outcomes!
- Jumped all in to Heidi’s weekly training schedule, biking to each class – six days of the week at Mesa College, Maxwell’s Boxing, SDSU, Irwin Soto’s dojo in Santee and so on.
- Jilly had to leave just as she had come – much like The Plan which brought me to Nana’s, she also had to go home to family.
- Took another one through the Whole 30! Life changing; not plant-based (like the How Not To Die recipe book) but an impactful first step.
- Mostly just tried to keep my feet with the schedule. Did it!
- Spent my birthday in service at the Walk and Roll – a celebration for kids with disabilities and their potential to be everything they want to be; I had the added gift of finding two lost dogs back to their home – their family would later surprise me with a piece of mail filled with money for the mission!
- Jmarie Moore, the professional boxer and daughter of Archie Moore the Hall-of-Fame, Champion boxer, and lover of the mission, introduced me to Wamnee Eagle Ereaux, a professional boxer and also leader within her native community… those two girls came all the way from Vegas and Tucson to meet my mentors and to give a demo at Heidis’ Ladies Boxing Night! So cool.
- I was gifted a vision for the grassroots coalition I had been invited to join – Fight The Fever, a robust strategy soon to be rolled out with great enthusiasm from the team!
- Dee. November brought me Dee. Rather, in November, the Creator brought me Dee. A beautiful mind drawn to my path to say to me in response to my telling her the mission and inviting her, in her immediate love for it, to support by buying our Nations Rising Tea – Tea?! We’re going to get you a grant! Yep, just like that, retired grant writer Dee swoops in to light the way! You need a board, she said – got that, I said; and a non-profit status… Yep! And a story…Yep! And a plan…Got it, actually there is one thing I haven’t been able to figure out… Well why not do it this way?… Of Course, YES! Time to find that grant then! Goosebumps… on into the Thanksgiving meal she put together for my mom and myself and a cohort of ladies leaders to hear on our project(!)… on up to the moment when she recently told me the story of a painting she painted for someone who threw her the most magical, multi-course evening, a meal she’d never be able to repay, and so asked of her good friend the question – Of all the people, throughout time up to now, which twelve would you Love to sit down and share a meal with? And so she painted that Magical Supper which must somehow be a greater light to its recipient than to me, but only slightly.
- The month of gifts! I baked cookies with my mom and gifted hundreds of them away.
- In training in the various martial arts for the first time in my life, six days of the week for the semester, feeling tired and sore and humbled always, and with the utmost focus on making Heidi feel honored in having chosen a good student…. It all paid off! I won Heidi’s boxing glove for most improved fitness baseline (PreTest squats 300, post 600, crunches pre 72/post 112, plank 5 minutes/same, and pushups pre 68/post 110)! And I won her World Kickboxing Champion (mini)belt (as in it fits around Cricket’s waste!)! But still! I had to fight for that thing! And she was proud. What a gift!
- In coming to the call of Chief, any time or place, for years now since our finding each other over Standing Rock, trying humbly to learn the Ways that my family has so long been disconnected from, and wanting only to have him feel respected and protected by me and my mission …. This Christmas, he gifted me a blessed eagle feather, a most sacred gift. And he was proud.
- A humbling, joyful Christmas to please my teachers and to be gifted that knowledge; very powerful as the Creator would have it.
- Went to the finish line with our beloved elder dog Auncha, an amazing service dog she was in life; she finished her walk on the dawn of a Sunday morning.
- And to hear also the love and gratitude of my family this year at the stroke of midnight, especially powerful.
So a year of learning, still getting ready for all to come.
2019…. Just wait! Already quite profound, the miracles abound!