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Lindsey Lou On The Move: Standing Rock and Beyond

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About Lindsey

April 4, 2020 By Lindsey Tarr Leave a Comment

From Anxiety Attack Nights to a Healthy, Happy and Free Life

In the middle of 2016, I was doing what I was supposed to. I had graduated from College, I had volunteered for two years of national service; I had gotten a real job where I worked hard, did well, and moved up. I made money, spent it and travelled to exotic places. 

Even so, over time, in the middle of the nights I awoke hardly able to breathe. The gnawing question was always immediately present – What am I doing?  That’s it. That was the plaguing conundrum which jerked me awake in darkness, night after night. 

Then, during work one day, I was gifted an experience with a prospective client that rocked my days as well. It was clear pretty quickly that this gentleman was outside of the parameters of my target and yet, I remained with him for an unjustifiable amount of time (in the world of business and productivity).  Our conversation, however, was of higher vibrations than daily this-and-that and metrics and cost/benefit analysis’; we were speaking to the things of this life and our purpose. Somehow he knew at the heart of me, there existed a forgotten past – the origin of my people, Oglala Lakota, the details of which I knew not too much at all. 

My Nana took her family from the reservation long before I was around to learn that it is no place for a free person. She sacrificed our culture to save our dignity – so that I could even fill the shoes of the person who wrote the first paragraph of this post. There are grandmothers who shared in the same impossible choice and took their families down the other road.  I’ve found now, years after the moments I spent with this guy, that the descendants of either choice have been left in a state of lostness, without the peace or power of remembering Who I Am. 

It has been a real journey since that day when that man struck me to my core with a new, more catalytic question than the one waking me up each night: What are You doing for your people? It brought tears to my eyes. For I was in sunny, southern California.  The house across the street from where I was standing was poised upon the cliff, above the shoreline, overlooking the ocean. I did know enough by this point that the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation of my people, like most reservations across Indian Country, was still no place for a free person.  Statistically, it beats most places that service-minded folks in this country choose to travel to on Volunteer Vacations, to ‘developing countries’. 

By great blessing, less than a week later, news erupted for a short blip giving truth to the reality of private security guards of an oil corporation allowing attack dogs to maul peaceful elders and children on the treaty land of the Standing Rock Tribe. 

I’ve made a personal study of change and the conditions which cause it in recent years. These describe the truth of my own:  a rock-bottom of sleepless nights and absolute cringing commutes to work in apprehension of arriving (my spirit singing to take the driver’s seat!), a single, sincere conversation with a stranger (compassion) and an invitation (to serve)!  My people were finally taking a stand and they were inviting us to stand with them! 

And from that, a whole new life…

2016

September

  • Quit my job
  • Bought the Snowbeast! A 2005 Nissan Murano with 180k miles on it for $2k – solely for the purpose of getting to Standing Rock and serving. 
  • Attended a community event in which a local Tribal leader was speaking about his journey’s to and from Standing Rock delivering supplies. He shared the date of his next trip and invited anyone who wished to go to Standing Rock to caravan out with him. 
  • Built the Site
  • Gathered as much support as possible
  • Packed
  • Rolled Out!

October

  • Got acclimated to a world I’d never been in or have been since
  • Celebrated my 30th birthday at camp

November

  • Arrested with a felony count and a few misdemeanors 

December

  • Fam came to Standing Rock!
  • Broke camp as requested by the tribe for safety during the winter, left no trace and rode home with an off-the-grid skeptic/investigative journalist, finding out even more things about this world I had never known nor wished to.

2017 What now

January – February

  • Effectively dismantled in mind and spirit,  disillusioned, filled with anger but also in awe of the beauty and peace of my people and that place, I tried to collect the chaos within by writing it all down and organizing the special moments captured in photo and worth a thousand words, into a book.  
  • Learned to make my own power message t shirts, decided the process requires too many of mother earth’s resources to pursue further; natural dyes would probably help but still
  • Went to the ocean for peace
  • Decided to locate things people were giving away and flip them around to people who would buy them on Next Door and OfferUp; while this did generate some good funds the resources required of mother earth to get it done is a no win. 
  • My motorcycle, Julez, died
  • I reached into skills of days passed and repainted my nephews room
  • I watched the Women’s March on TV instead of going
  • I attempted to get involved with a local group that was getting people organized around political action but found that my personal expectation to go forward with meetings in a holistic way, as in the way of the Lakota, at Standing Rock, has no application in business-as-usual yet – too much for me at the time
  • Gave Fire Cider a go, using a recipe from the Hobbit at Standing Rock
  • Discovered a best friend was going to be working in Austin for a month
  • Simultaneously a self-defense instructor certification was going to be taught there in the same month with a following certification training available about two weeks later in Utah (the idea of Self Defense as a path forward was a fleeting inspiration by the Creator in that exact moment I learned of my friend in Austin)
  • Queue my return to reading but in a new way, as momz gifts me Living Your Strengths, in which my own healing attempts to go deeper and my mind glimpses the possibility of theTrue aligned potential within
  • On the Road to Austin

March

  • Still haven’t cut my hair, guess we’re growing out
  • First WWOOF! Thank goodness for Mary and Lucy in the world! Thank goodness for WWOOF
  • UT Austin RAD training and SXSW
  • Back on the Road to Utah – but through the natural places: Big Bend, Candelaria (where my phone dies), outside Roswell where I bendered somebody’s fender, Albaqurque, Bear Ears where I got stuck at the top in muddy snow forced to finally reckon with my lifelong competition with my own instinct, Hite where I ate dinner by a campfire acknowledging my ignorance and letting it All go, finally slept peacefully, under the stars, waking up a changed person – and on to Provo, but not before the Snowbeast stopped at a gas station and turned over for about 20 minutes before deciding to start again. 
  • RAD Training #2 and instructor certification,check; miracle at Utah Lake before rolling out of town and back into the nature. 
  • Let many layers go, across many miles, hiking and camping through Capitol Reef, Bryce Canyon, Grand Staircase-Escalante and Zion. 

April

  • Made it home to the fam
  • Retreat to the Mudcaves
  • Flew to Florida at my Sister’s request to help her with her Grandfather’s Estate Sale
  • Road trip with pops in a Moving truck from Florida to San Diego, a path of many moments to savor and learn from: things like life and death, alcoholism, true friendship, grace, beauty, exhaustion, humility.
  • Splinter Jones startup 
  • Wet and Wild Summer, back in Austin! 

April to September

  • I come to know how to cook in a tiny house
  • Off grid living: chickens, dogs, coyotes, electricity, rain water
  • 70 names a week and watering holes far and wide
  • Chiggers
  • Hauling giant mats, tubes and trailers, steering pontoons, floating with the Big Kidz
  • Baby turtles at the coast , the ayers rock of N. America
  • Nani’s surprise 85th birthday in Denver!  
  • House sitting the homestead, Harvey, coyote massacre and the manual of fun
  • Stop ETP march in Dallas
  • St. Louis roadie with Momma!

October- November

  • The magic of Kauai
  • Nextdoor brings the cats and dogs!

December

  • The great Cookie Monster Challenge
  • The Miracle of Jane and Aggie!

2018 In a nutshell

January

  • This time we make it to the Women’s March 
  • Speak at AIM Gathering
  • Begin building Tour of Hope, Develop Shoestring Love   and Nations Rising Tea Program to fund tour and mission

February

  • Nani’s Journey begins
  • Hit the road for the Longest Walk, Washington state to Washington DC
  • Emergency trip back to CO to be with Nani
  • So begins a time of learning and preparation: First up> Zero shoes, Fasting, Postmates, Dr. Santos

March

  • Nani moves on, Cricket joins the pack

April-May 

  • Momma’s time of mourning, not the time to go across the country
  • Building mom’s healing pond, all natural with a solar powered waterfall

June

  • Janes first Surgery
  • Dumpster diving

August

  • Jilly arrives from Brazil
  • No Regatta protest miracle
  • Plans Change, partnerships shot

September – December

  • We meet master Heidi and begin huge focus on training to teach self-defense from a different lens than RAD 

2019

January 

  • Desert fast and Sunshine boy

February – May 

  • Training and teaching with Heidi

June 

  • Walk for the Bees
  • Book is Finally Ready! On to the next!

July

  • Fundraising for Barb and Chief
  • Jane Surgery 2

August-September

  • Built Nations Rising with Chief
  • Olio, Booch and Congee

October

  • Sampson Stay
  • New locs
  • Boston

December

  • Magic of Kauai

2020

January – February

  • Starhawk teaches the way of Permaculture Design at Earth Activist Training
  • Kamila reminds me the world of online and social innovation

March

  • Lovely Liv comes to light the fire
  • Retreat to Mudcaves
  • Crane frames
  • Covid

Through time, much evolution, it all amounts to Health, Happiness and Freedom… My life is my message.

Filed Under: About Lindsey Tagged With: anxiety attack, barefoot shoes, change, Congee, dreadlocks, dumpster diving, earth activist training, fasting, freedom, happiness, healing, health, indian reservation, kombucha, life after college, life satisfaction, money, mourning, natural pond, off grid, oglala lakota, olio, pdc, permaculture, postmates, purpose, quit my job, RAD self defense, real job, Self defense, service, Standing Rock, starhawk, success, volunteer vacation, work life, writing a book, WWOOF, zero drop shoes

March 31, 2020 By Lindsey Tarr 2 Comments

Biography

Lindsey is a servant leader in stewardship of our Mother, the Earth, and all of Hers. The Way of this work is in learning the Ways of Love, healing, humility, and continuous growth; it’s the way of the Red Road. In practice it is:

  • Doing the hard work of remembering Who I Am
  • Often an immediate, response to a call for help
  • Serving locally to help bring about balance: building packs of neighbors’ dogs to be able to get them a bit more of the exercise and healthy social engagement for which they are all starving, regenerating soil, catching water, growing food, or within a multi-year, grassroots coalition of environmental and/or social justice
  • Living in flow, finding direction primarily by relaxing into the perfect instinct of the spirit, only secondarily stepping forward and thinking with the ego, sidekick rather than guide

In reflection, the drive to serve Mother Earth and people have always been her focus…

  • Within residential solar, her team redirected millions of middle-class dollars and millions of pounds of CO2 in fossil fuel costs by driving direct change to clean energy
  • In national service, as an Americorps Fire Team Leader, her team of corps members and hundreds of volunteers impacted dozens of communities and nonprofit organizations throughout the southern states, including more than a handful of disaster responses
  • While putting herself through community college, she began to learn the ways of leadership, canvassing and fundraising for change as she led a team to help drive through the landmark piece of legislation, the Million Solar Roofs bill, with the group Environment California

Even so, 2016 marks a time of rebirth… everything previous feeling like a different lifetime and everything since representing an exciting journey of Truth, remembering; a beautiful story of the really good stuff like freedom, fearlessness, wholeness, purpose and fulfillment! 

Filed Under: About Lindsey Tagged With: fearlessflow, freedom, healing, mother earth, mywhy, purpose, rebirth, service

March 30, 2020 By Lindsey Tarr Leave a Comment

My Life is My Message – Commitments

Life. What I’ve distilled so far is that my great bird spirit continually guides me to living in service. I’ve synthesized from much meditation and prayer, reading and gaining support and wisdom from every experience, every lesson I’ve received from every interaction I’ve ever had, that my service must begin within myself and must always be centered in Love; it shall be a contribution to the great healing and learning of this time, that it may describe Truth and evoke Beauty.  

To remember Who One Is… as I understand it, is a process of getting to the bottom of one’s humanness, understanding the place of things like the anger and frustration that come when ‘arguing’ with someone coming back at you aggressively, even mildly, in their different prerogative; understanding the overwhelming pain that comes of ‘loss’, and the avoidance of that feeling in the cases that we perceive we have control of it; the stuckness of wanting to do something good in today’s world but feeling conflicted with things we perceive we ‘must’ do.  It is the patient, hard work of eventually coming to the place in which one finally feels…This Is Me, I Know Who I Am, I Must Be Who I am and I Must Do This with whatever time I have here and… I Am Entirely Fulfilled and At Peace with Who I Am and What I Am Doing; and… I Love Myself as I Love Creator as I Love My ‘Enemy’, I Am Love.

So far, I feel learned and committed to the following:

I commit to living my Truth and Purpose of embodied Creation.  

I commit to openness toward my own continued healing and learning, to remembering Who I Am.

I commit to describing Truth and Evoking Beaty with my life.

I commit to a life in service from a place of Love.

As a woman, I commit to answering Mother Earth’s call for help through my clear wisdom, courage and compassion.  

To fulfill this, my spirit has guided me to become Independent from the systems and means which would steal this from me outright or by subtle conditioning; and I must serve, with love, to provide healing and education to others whose Truth and Purpose is in jeopardy as such (this comprehensively encompases all the forms of embodied creation). 

Government, Money and Insurance

I commit to earning less than what is considered the federal poverty guideline annually as I wish to be outside of the:

  • motivation of money – unbuyable, free. 
  • mandatory contribution via federal taxes which fund many unacceptable things the government directs and perpetuates: the dark web, military wars, the ‘war’ on drugs, fossil fuel energy development, Corporate Profit over People and Planet, etc. etc.

The implications of this guide the simplification of my life and commitment in other things, for example, I do not actively partake, or intend to, in the benefits of the social programs funded by the tax system such as the modern healthcare/insurance system, Disability, Unemployment or Social Security.

A different kind of ‘economy’

The natural reaction to this in many cases is fear-driven… How will you retire??!?  What if something happens? Why don’t you work? How do you pay for things?

Actually, I do work, a lot, just not for money…rather, I create value through service. Now I live Fearlessly. I’m no longer fearful of the future because I am free to create it… I experience the freedom afforded by living my purpose fully each day, as if perhaps there won’t be another just like it or at all. I’ve found, while living in service I have more than enough to meet my needs and those of my little Cricket.

Many of the questions mentioned above are driven by the fear-based systems which sell solutions like, by investing your time into work and Social Security you’ll ‘retire comfortably’ and protect your family, by investing in healthcare you’ll be taken care of when you get sick. One could read a newspaper on any day to find stories which punch holes in these and many other false claims as the reason for doing anything for the majority of one’s life, like working for someone or paying into something over a lifetime. 

The Truths I’ve learned are that when you grow food, you have food; when you catch rainwater, then you have water; when you build a house (tiny, natural, temporary, etc.) then you have a house; when you do healthy things, then you have health; and when you gift health, freedom and love, that is what you receive in abundance! 

Naturally then, my actions are proactive, ‘preventative’; I reduce my own risks by the choices I make each moment.   I have control over the things I put in my body – on a physical, mental and spiritual level; and I have control over the things I do with my body, mind and spirit – for example…

  • Beyond bucking the pretty big modern norms mentioned above, I no longer rely on a fossil-fuel powered personal vehicle… I walk or roll on human-powered wheels just about everywhere. This has enabled me to divest from the car insurance and the fossil-fuel industry effectively reducing my own risk, decreasing my footprint, and exponentially increasing my health, happiness and freedom by traveling at the speeds my body is naturally built to go.
  • Eat mostly whole, organic, local (in-season) food 
  • I definitely avoid eating processed things, this includes refined sugar and most packaged items with long ingredient lists which include sugars, gmo’s and preservatives (and wasteful packaging of course)
  • I buy from the bulk sections in stores like Sprouts, reusing my bags and tags many times
  • If not growing food or getting it from farmers market, or rescuing it, I’m helping people to find a good CSA to join – the benefits of this are abundant, one example is the reduction of our footprint even further by taking the individual weekly travel to and from stores/markets out of the equation, as one part in a whole membership base in which delivery is focused to one delivery truck per many households, for example.
  • When I eat meat or eggs, I avoid those that have not been raised free and natural, therefore my diet is mainly plant-based as that level of quality is cost-prohibitive in many places
  • Usually, I eat congee for breakfast, a midday big salad (cooling) or lightly baked veggies and soup (warming) with some beans, quinoa, lentils, tempeh or tofu.  Fav toppings are a little salt, pepper, sunflower seeds and nutritional yeast with a small drizzle of oil. Again, all based on produce in season.
  • I try to catch my water and filter it 
  • I drink two big glasses of neutral temp water first thing and throughout the whole day
  • Fasting is a consistent, regular part of my life
  • Try to get in 8oz of homemade kombucha per day
  • Spending a good long moment of awareness with each bite, with each sip 
  • I strive to grow my own, free, clean food wherever I am/help those whom I serve to do so
  • I limit time on technology, on it or near it – for example, screen time ends a couple of hours before sleep (ideally before sunset), fully shut down and kept in separate space than where I sleep
  • I give much time to reading, writing, creating, learning, practicing skills, yoga, and teaching
  • I touch the earth with my bare feet daily
  • I stretch and play daily, with Cricket and usually with a pack of dogs – dance, run, jump, swim, roll, stretch, yoga, bike, hike – on natural earth and barefoot as often as possible
  • I wear zero drop shoes
  • Cold last minute (in the shower) or natural shower even better!
  • I meditate each morning, at least, filling myself with great gratitude and receiving it abundantly, returning to the Oneness of all things, as I often slip outward according to my bossy ego humanness throughout the day
  • I use the word LOVE freely, even with strangers, humans and creatures alike, who are not quite strangers but those I’ve come to know as my brothers and sisters, no matter their color or beliefs; to experience love is to feel the highest human experience – I work each day to heal so that I may know Oneness and when faced with sadness or anger, for example, I can remember the peace within the circular relativity in all things of this world; when I feel something less than, I go inward trying to find the original source as, for myself, it seems awareness precedes understanding which precedes healing and then change/evolution, elevation
  • I ‘buying’ from thrift stores or play-it-again sports stores
  • I avoid feeling overwhelmed with the world, my own health and what to do by letting nature guide my balance 

…On my best day!

Of course I’m human and so lots of days don’t look just like this! This is when I’m reminded about forgiveness, the impossibility to judge anyone, unconditionality, love, patience, prayer, gratitude and so on. 

I always have more than enough. When you are truly giving of yourself and your gifts, people, Earth and the Universe reciprocate with all that they have been gifted in return.

Rob Wisdom

For further reading, I have loved and gained MUCH from Rob Greenfield’s Journey. For more full and comprehensive insights on these topics, he is an excellent resource for the people regarding many of these things. His experience and teachings have empowered much of my own development in thought and practical application.

  • On Government, Money, Healthcare…  here and here. 
  • Rob’s Personal Guide to Health Happiness and Freedom 
  • House Guide to Sustainable, Simple, and Healthy Living

He has also posted wonderful commitments and vows, many of which my path has also aligned me with…

Aligned Commitments 

I vow to donate 100% of my earnings from media to nonprofits

Agreed, if/when I get those, yes committed.

I vow to earn no more than the federal poverty threshold per year.

Agreed, committed, fulfilled since September 2016

Others paying expenses on my behalf

My mission involves being present with a lot of people and that takes a serious amount of my time and energy. As I have said my income is capped but my aim is to increase my ability to affect positive change with these guidelines, not hinder it. So I will allow for money to be spent on my behalf under the right circumstances.

Agreed, committed. 

Non-monetary gifts and sponsorships

My policy is that I support the gifting economy and will gladly accept small gifts. On the larger end of gifts and sponsorships I will at the very least be 100% transparent with what I accept and will aim to keep what I receive to necessities. If a large gift is sent my way I will likely send it to a nonprofit that can use it to make the world a better place.

I will likely work with financial sponsors at times to help me complete my missions. I will aim to always work with sponsors who share my ethics and morals.

Agreed, committed. 

I vow to own a minimal and reasonable value of possessions and financial assets. 

Agreed, committed. Still working on this, this is truly a process, it has taken revisiting many times to continually have less each time and I still have further to go!

“Rather than make formal, taxable organizations” I will be partnering with other nonprofits to carry out my work. 

Agreed.  There are enough orgs in the world to collaborate with, saving resources and amplifying the impact of a shared missional goal.  Committed. 

Financial transactions

I bank with a local credit union (Mission Federal Credit Union) and no longer have any credit cards (A few years ago I had about five credit cards). Credit unions are nonprofits and invest their money back in the community and often give the money to good causes.

Agreed, I divested from corporate banking and moved to a credit union; I still have 2 credit cards on which the balance is $0, have yet to cancel them.

Charging for my work

There are many things that I think should be free in a just and intellectually advanced society. Some of these include air, water, food, simple housing, education, reasonable levels of health care, and access to all nature. Those are just a few things but there are many more. I think information on health, sustainable living, and how to be good to the earth should all be free too. In my mind, it makes no sense to charge people for health and happiness. Maybe at times it makes sense in our current society but that is not the society I am functioning on. So because of that my work is free to access and free to redistribute under a creative commons license. This includes all the content that is on my website including my photos, videos, and blogs. Simply put I will not personally charge for my work unless it is also available for free. In this manner, it is the choice of the person paying because they want the information in a more special manner rather than the free version I have available.

Simply put I will not personally charge for my service unless it is also available for free. In this manner, it is the choice of the person paying because they want the information in a more special manner rather than the free version I have available.

If you are deeply analyzing this philosophy you may find that it’s not perfect. It’s a heck of a lot better than what’s currently going on though.

Agreed, committed. I’ve also found that many still wish to Donate funds to the mission. 

Advertising

My policy is to never advertise for a company or product that I do not strongly believe in. And by “believe in” I don’t mean that I just like them or they are my friends. I have committed to not advertise for anything that causes destruction to the earth even if it is to take the money and give it to a good cause. 

Agreed, committed. 

Sponsors

I will only take on sponsors if our messages are deeply inline.

Agreed, committed. 

In summary I vow to:

Practice financial transparency.   

Agreed

Earn no more than the federal poverty threshold per year. Donate rest.  

Agreed 

Own a minimal and reasonable value of possessions and financial assets.

Agreed

Timeline

These vows begin today on 04/08/2015 and I am taking these vows initially for four years. Too often I see people make lifetime commitments and all too often I see these “lifetime” commitments last a fraction of their life. The frequency of priest celibacy scandals and the high American divorce rate are two examples of that. So because of that, I am making this vow for four years until 04/08/2019 at which time I will be 32. I chose four years, the length of presidency in the USA, because I wanted to feel how long that is so I can understand how so many of them break their promises in that time. I would imagine that I will renew these vows after four years but only time will tell that.

  • Agreed, committed. Today 3/24/2020. To assess and renew 3/24/2024 🙂

Here are some more Excellent Rob Resources: 

  •  Robs Vows and Commitments 
  • Robs Possessions
  • Robs views On Media Income, Financial and Corporate Transparency, Net Worth
  • Rob’s Journey/Process of Transformation
  • Robs Creative Commons

Filed Under: About Lindsey Tagged With: barefoot shoes, beauty, creative commons license, creator, economy, fasting, food, footprint, forgiveness, freedom, gift economy, government, gratitude, health, healthcare, insurance, life, love, meditation, money, poverty, prayer, preventative, purpose, retirement, rob greenfield, service economy, social security, Truth, water, who am i

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