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oglala lakota

April 4, 2020 By Lindsey Tarr Leave a Comment

From Anxiety Attack Nights to a Healthy, Happy and Free Life

In the middle of 2016, I was doing what I was supposed to. I had graduated from College, I had volunteered for two years of national service; I had gotten a real job where I worked hard, did well, and moved up. I made money, spent it and travelled to exotic places. 

Even so, over time, in the middle of the nights I awoke hardly able to breathe. The gnawing question was always immediately present – What am I doing?  That’s it. That was the plaguing conundrum which jerked me awake in darkness, night after night. 

Then, during work one day, I was gifted an experience with a prospective client that rocked my days as well. It was clear pretty quickly that this gentleman was outside of the parameters of my target and yet, I remained with him for an unjustifiable amount of time (in the world of business and productivity).  Our conversation, however, was of higher vibrations than daily this-and-that and metrics and cost/benefit analysis’; we were speaking to the things of this life and our purpose. Somehow he knew at the heart of me, there existed a forgotten past – the origin of my people, Oglala Lakota, the details of which I knew not too much at all. 

My Nana took her family from the reservation long before I was around to learn that it is no place for a free person. She sacrificed our culture to save our dignity – so that I could even fill the shoes of the person who wrote the first paragraph of this post. There are grandmothers who shared in the same impossible choice and took their families down the other road.  I’ve found now, years after the moments I spent with this guy, that the descendants of either choice have been left in a state of lostness, without the peace or power of remembering Who I Am. 

It has been a real journey since that day when that man struck me to my core with a new, more catalytic question than the one waking me up each night: What are You doing for your people? It brought tears to my eyes. For I was in sunny, southern California.  The house across the street from where I was standing was poised upon the cliff, above the shoreline, overlooking the ocean. I did know enough by this point that the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation of my people, like most reservations across Indian Country, was still no place for a free person.  Statistically, it beats most places that service-minded folks in this country choose to travel to on Volunteer Vacations, to ‘developing countries’. 

By great blessing, less than a week later, news erupted for a short blip giving truth to the reality of private security guards of an oil corporation allowing attack dogs to maul peaceful elders and children on the treaty land of the Standing Rock Tribe. 

I’ve made a personal study of change and the conditions which cause it in recent years. These describe the truth of my own:  a rock-bottom of sleepless nights and absolute cringing commutes to work in apprehension of arriving (my spirit singing to take the driver’s seat!), a single, sincere conversation with a stranger (compassion) and an invitation (to serve)!  My people were finally taking a stand and they were inviting us to stand with them! 

And from that, a whole new life…

2016

September

  • Quit my job
  • Bought the Snowbeast! A 2005 Nissan Murano with 180k miles on it for $2k – solely for the purpose of getting to Standing Rock and serving. 
  • Attended a community event in which a local Tribal leader was speaking about his journey’s to and from Standing Rock delivering supplies. He shared the date of his next trip and invited anyone who wished to go to Standing Rock to caravan out with him. 
  • Built the Site
  • Gathered as much support as possible
  • Packed
  • Rolled Out!

October

  • Got acclimated to a world I’d never been in or have been since
  • Celebrated my 30th birthday at camp

November

  • Arrested with a felony count and a few misdemeanors 

December

  • Fam came to Standing Rock!
  • Broke camp as requested by the tribe for safety during the winter, left no trace and rode home with an off-the-grid skeptic/investigative journalist, finding out even more things about this world I had never known nor wished to.

2017 What now

January – February

  • Effectively dismantled in mind and spirit,  disillusioned, filled with anger but also in awe of the beauty and peace of my people and that place, I tried to collect the chaos within by writing it all down and organizing the special moments captured in photo and worth a thousand words, into a book.  
  • Learned to make my own power message t shirts, decided the process requires too many of mother earth’s resources to pursue further; natural dyes would probably help but still
  • Went to the ocean for peace
  • Decided to locate things people were giving away and flip them around to people who would buy them on Next Door and OfferUp; while this did generate some good funds the resources required of mother earth to get it done is a no win. 
  • My motorcycle, Julez, died
  • I reached into skills of days passed and repainted my nephews room
  • I watched the Women’s March on TV instead of going
  • I attempted to get involved with a local group that was getting people organized around political action but found that my personal expectation to go forward with meetings in a holistic way, as in the way of the Lakota, at Standing Rock, has no application in business-as-usual yet – too much for me at the time
  • Gave Fire Cider a go, using a recipe from the Hobbit at Standing Rock
  • Discovered a best friend was going to be working in Austin for a month
  • Simultaneously a self-defense instructor certification was going to be taught there in the same month with a following certification training available about two weeks later in Utah (the idea of Self Defense as a path forward was a fleeting inspiration by the Creator in that exact moment I learned of my friend in Austin)
  • Queue my return to reading but in a new way, as momz gifts me Living Your Strengths, in which my own healing attempts to go deeper and my mind glimpses the possibility of theTrue aligned potential within
  • On the Road to Austin

March

  • Still haven’t cut my hair, guess we’re growing out
  • First WWOOF! Thank goodness for Mary and Lucy in the world! Thank goodness for WWOOF
  • UT Austin RAD training and SXSW
  • Back on the Road to Utah – but through the natural places: Big Bend, Candelaria (where my phone dies), outside Roswell where I bendered somebody’s fender, Albaqurque, Bear Ears where I got stuck at the top in muddy snow forced to finally reckon with my lifelong competition with my own instinct, Hite where I ate dinner by a campfire acknowledging my ignorance and letting it All go, finally slept peacefully, under the stars, waking up a changed person – and on to Provo, but not before the Snowbeast stopped at a gas station and turned over for about 20 minutes before deciding to start again. 
  • RAD Training #2 and instructor certification,check; miracle at Utah Lake before rolling out of town and back into the nature. 
  • Let many layers go, across many miles, hiking and camping through Capitol Reef, Bryce Canyon, Grand Staircase-Escalante and Zion. 

April

  • Made it home to the fam
  • Retreat to the Mudcaves
  • Flew to Florida at my Sister’s request to help her with her Grandfather’s Estate Sale
  • Road trip with pops in a Moving truck from Florida to San Diego, a path of many moments to savor and learn from: things like life and death, alcoholism, true friendship, grace, beauty, exhaustion, humility.
  • Splinter Jones startup 
  • Wet and Wild Summer, back in Austin! 

April to September

  • I come to know how to cook in a tiny house
  • Off grid living: chickens, dogs, coyotes, electricity, rain water
  • 70 names a week and watering holes far and wide
  • Chiggers
  • Hauling giant mats, tubes and trailers, steering pontoons, floating with the Big Kidz
  • Baby turtles at the coast , the ayers rock of N. America
  • Nani’s surprise 85th birthday in Denver!  
  • House sitting the homestead, Harvey, coyote massacre and the manual of fun
  • Stop ETP march in Dallas
  • St. Louis roadie with Momma!

October- November

  • The magic of Kauai
  • Nextdoor brings the cats and dogs!

December

  • The great Cookie Monster Challenge
  • The Miracle of Jane and Aggie!

2018 In a nutshell

January

  • This time we make it to the Women’s March 
  • Speak at AIM Gathering
  • Begin building Tour of Hope, Develop Shoestring Love   and Nations Rising Tea Program to fund tour and mission

February

  • Nani’s Journey begins
  • Hit the road for the Longest Walk, Washington state to Washington DC
  • Emergency trip back to CO to be with Nani
  • So begins a time of learning and preparation: First up> Zero shoes, Fasting, Postmates, Dr. Santos

March

  • Nani moves on, Cricket joins the pack

April-May 

  • Momma’s time of mourning, not the time to go across the country
  • Building mom’s healing pond, all natural with a solar powered waterfall

June

  • Janes first Surgery
  • Dumpster diving

August

  • Jilly arrives from Brazil
  • No Regatta protest miracle
  • Plans Change, partnerships shot

September – December

  • We meet master Heidi and begin huge focus on training to teach self-defense from a different lens than RAD 

2019

January 

  • Desert fast and Sunshine boy

February – May 

  • Training and teaching with Heidi

June 

  • Walk for the Bees
  • Book is Finally Ready! On to the next!

July

  • Fundraising for Barb and Chief
  • Jane Surgery 2

August-September

  • Built Nations Rising with Chief
  • Olio, Booch and Congee

October

  • Sampson Stay
  • New locs
  • Boston

December

  • Magic of Kauai

2020

January – February

  • Starhawk teaches the way of Permaculture Design at Earth Activist Training
  • Kamila reminds me the world of online and social innovation

March

  • Lovely Liv comes to light the fire
  • Retreat to Mudcaves
  • Crane frames
  • Covid

Through time, much evolution, it all amounts to Health, Happiness and Freedom… My life is my message.

Filed Under: About Lindsey Tagged With: anxiety attack, barefoot shoes, change, Congee, dreadlocks, dumpster diving, earth activist training, fasting, freedom, happiness, healing, health, indian reservation, kombucha, life after college, life satisfaction, money, mourning, natural pond, off grid, oglala lakota, olio, pdc, permaculture, postmates, purpose, quit my job, RAD self defense, real job, Self defense, service, Standing Rock, starhawk, success, volunteer vacation, work life, writing a book, WWOOF, zero drop shoes

April 4, 2020 By Lindsey Tarr Leave a Comment

Crane Frames

Each one unique, each one carrying a wish!

Visit the Shoestring Love shop on Etsy to order.

As I go out into the world, it has become a habit of mine to keep my pockets filled with the love of many tiny folded companions. As I meet others, sometimes only briefly, a stranger in passing for example, I am able to share that love freely through the tiny but significant gift of a folded friend. In the case that I have neither a folded friend or a stored piece of paper, I’m never without something to fold up and share any moment Love is needed (always!).  This little act, these little creatures, they are a perfect act of Shoestring Love.

These frames were born of that simple daily practice. 

They are each unique and have been given their own time to come to life but the purpose and principles are the same. Love is Love is Love.  

They are special to me in many ways… 

They have been conceived as a modern honoring of their origin, a gift of our Japanese relatives through the beautiful tradition of the senbazuru in which 1000 cranes, folded with love and goodwill, bring much abundance to their recipients, even a wish!  In the case of these Crane Frames, each one comes with a wish as each one includes a crane hand-colored by my nana… she has since passed on from this lifetime but her hands and beautiful artistry have left us with many uniquely colored pages for folding up with love; her wish to travel in all the directions is bountifully reflected in these cranes that are now in flight all over the world. That magic then, that wish, passes on to you, carried upon the folded wings of the crane you receive.

The colors that flow throughout these frames, red, yellow, black and white,  are used often in the Oglala Lakota tradition of I and my grandmother’s people. The four directions represented in these colors describe Truth, as they represent the circle of life; and so they are reflected also in the harmonious rainbow and in the beautiful rainbow of the human family.

Mother Earth is honored in the resourcefulness of each frame as they are made up of rescued materials which would otherwise go to no use.  For example, the frames are refurbished from things like old silk screens or picture frames, or merely scraps from carpentry work; the buttons and beads have been saved over generations often lying-in-wait within the tin cans and jars of many, many households throughout the world… my buttons were once my moms and her moms, as I know is likely true for you. 

The frames are quite light and so demand less energy in shipping. 

Also, there is a special gift built into each frame which will reveal itself sooner or later like a bud, opening to flower and growing into full blossom – please let me know when the miracle I describe reveals itself to you. 

With love receive them and gift them again, that is Shoestring Love!

Order a Crane Frame – your contribution to this work is a great blessing

MUCH LOVE

Lindsey Lou On The Move

Filed Under: Projects Tagged With: 1000 cranes, crane, four directions, oglala lakota, origami, senbazuru

April 4, 2020 By Lindsey Tarr Leave a Comment

Sacred Circle for Ceremony

Grandmother taught us… Life is a ceremony in itself, worthy of celebrating with ceremony – which means that yours and my life are worth celebrating every single day with a ceremony. When we do a ceremony from our heart, just like anything else growing, a bud will be born within us, and sooner or later that bud will begin to open; it becomes a flower, and that flower comes to full blossom where there will be seeds. But because you and I live on this Earth, winds of change will come upon us and when that happens the seeds will blow away – and somewhere else, another ceremony will be born…. When ceremony loses its spirit, it becomes a ritual – and life today is full of rituals… Grandmother was born in 1893.

Uncle Angaangaq, Kalaallit Nunaat (Greenland), The Mother Earth Delegation of United Indigenous Nations of the North during the time of the Corona Pandemic March 2020

In the summer of last year, 2019, I was gifted a revelation that only now, in its own time, has begun to unfold.  

As my spirit has reawoken, my soul reborn, I’ve found such power in meditation which reveals to me more and more the vast unseen. In this process, at one point I came to understand that there would be a significance in gathering together in prayer within the vision plane. At that time, such a thought had never occurred to me… the concept of gathering with another living being, or many, with full intention and awareness, within the realms of the great unseen! I’ve since come to know that all things are possible, much more than the limited experience of our ego-driven physical experience allows us initially to conceive of – until it awakens to the great Truth of our Being. 

A Gift for Your Celebration

Within this physical plane we are gathering in the Sacred Circle of the Red Road. 

To honor this beautiful ceremony, as a symbol of connection and strength, I would love for you to have your own sacred circle. Each one is made with love and each blessed by our Mother, the Earth.

Your sacred circle is made up of individually twisted braids and beads that can be worn throughout your day – around your wrists and ankles or as a necklace; and so they will be available for you to unwrap and circle around you when grounding in for ceremony, ideally in touch with our Mother, the earth (your feet upon the soil, or grass, or sitting upon a rock).   Someday, should the occasion arise in which one or more of us come together in the same place on the Earth, then too our individual circles may be unwrapped to be rejoined together in ceremony. It is a beautiful thing (another act of Shoestring Love in the world!)

  • Each one is twisted in the way of our Hawaiian relatives, who taught me how rope is made to be unbroken.  
  • The colors that flow throughout, red, yellow, black and white,  are used often in the Oglala Lakota tradition of I and my grandmother’s people. The four directions represented in these colors describe Truth, as they represent the circle of life; and so they are reflected also in the harmonious rainbow and in the beautiful rainbow of the human family.

You may order a single long rope or a set of four shorter ones, one for each direction and with the capability of extending the protective power of that sacred hoop to each wrist and ankle during your days.  

While it does take more time to unwrap and reconnect each of the four into full circle for ceremony, I have come to find that experience as a gift in itself… taking the time, to care, and to come into circle wholly mindful. 

It is also possible with the four braids to leave two, three or all four connected up to wear as you wish. 

To order yours, please Come in to the Circle with us.

Filed Under: Projects Tagged With: four directions, gathering, healing, mother earth, oglala lakota, red road, sacred circle of the red road, Truth, vision plane

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